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The "B" Bee

by Neil Milan

The following is an excerpt from a newsletter titled The "B" Bee, written as part of a project to demonstrate page layout techniques for printed materials. The article was just too funny to leave it at that, however, so it is now posted here.

Tourism Down in Second Floor, Residents Worry
By Chester Wiles
Staff Writer

    In an effort to revive interest in visiting the second floor of the building, the floor's residents are offering bigger bargains and incentives than they ever expected to allow. Still, they worry that even these measures will not be enough to save their slumping tourist industry.
     "It's gotten to the point where we have to literally invite people to come down and visit us," laments Kat Chen, the lone resident of Rm. 215. "Even [my boyfriend] Mike won't come by except to see me or use the bathroom."
     Though the second floor still draws the male crowd because of its bathroom monopoly, the days of informal meetings in the halls, streams of passers by, and crowds gathered around doorways are almost forgotten. When asked how and why this happened, most residents appear dumbfounded at best.

Eric Jung, resident of Rm. 222, is unsure of what the future holds for him and his floor.

     "Yeah, it's bad, but I'm like whatever," says Eric Jung of Rm. 222 in his usual candid manner. Leslie Lane of Rm. 212 offers an explanation, "I think the novelty of walking through the building and visiting people has worn off. We now just kinda stick with certain groups."
     Whatever the reason may be, it is clear that some residents are tired of waiting for the situation to get better. Many have started actively looking for ways to attract more visitors. The famous Quad (Rm. 216) now actively solicits people to come and watch the gaming that goes on between any one of their four systems. And, when they aren't being used, they even invite people to give them a try. "Well, I brought these [games] mainly for myself," confesses Jorge Medina, "but I think it's cool that other people want to use them too. I mean, gaming is therapeutic."