Third Floor
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Eileen Sims
Major: Biochemistry
Hometown: Hollister, CA aka: the opposite of the twilight zone
(nothing interesting ever happens!!)
Ha Ha!! Eileen has bestowed upon me the great honor of writing a
summary about her! Too bad she's gonna read it and edit out all the good
parts. Well Eileen is a pretty interesting person in that she lacks the
ability to make up her mind in all things not Chemistry. She is an
excellent student (over-achiever). She is determined to meet new people,
but she is shy and quiet. she is quite beautiful, but she's taken so back
off!!! (hehe can you tell her boyfriend is writing this?) If I had to
sum up every aspect of her life, personality, and self with one sentence,
I believe that all encompasing string of words would be: Eileen smells.
And so, in closing, I would like to point out that though I mock her,
I hold her in the highest regard and she is closer and more dear to me
than anyone else on earth. (Had to add that otherwise I'd get beaten...) (
Ed: We understand... We are scared of Eileen as well...)
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Tien Tran
Major: Materials Science Engineering
Hometown: Santa Clara, CA
The lovely Tien is the coolest girl ever. She was born about 19 years ago in the Santa Clara area and
has since grown to twice her size - a great accomplishment! Her intelligence has exceeded many of her
peers, making her the smartest and funniest, yet most underrated girl ever. Tien is incredibly sweet and
caring, for she has always been there for us in our times of need. She seemed rather timid when we first
met her, but now she never hesitates to provide us with her refreshing, unique brand of humor and her
insightful advice.
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Mary Elizabeth Gaber
Nicknames: MarBearGoob, Gigantor.
Major: Some Liberal Arts Bullshit (i.e. International Relations)
Hometown: Auburn, CA
Mary finally made her B Building debut this winter quarter after spending
her first collegiate quarter "playing volleyball", but we all know that's
just code word for paying the bills. We're all glad, however, that her
"coach" (aka Hustler) decreased her hours on the corner (er... I mean court)
for winter quarter so we could all finally figure out who the ghost
figure known as Mary was. In her free time, Mary enjoys playing sports,
picking up men, eating, sleeping, and making fun of Varun -- but I guess
everyone enjoys making fun of Varun. Straight from the ghetto known
as the third floor girls' quad, she's known to be the top female
football pick this side of Hutchinson, as well as a dedicated Sac Bee
reader. Rarely brushing her teeth may be Mary's sole flaw...
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Varun Prasad
Nicknames: Varuni-poo, net slut, Mary's bitch, Moose, person w/ a really big head from that region
Major: Computer Science Engineering (he frequently has shiny binary poles shoved up his ass)
Hometown: Hong Kong
Varun Prasad is the loudest motherfucker at UC Davis, and this is really all you need to know about him. But I'll tell you more. He comes to us from bustling Hong Kong, and yes, he is a dirty rotten commie rat. He claims to be fluent in seven languages or some ridiculous thing like that, and says he's lived in more countries than most of us have ever been to, but most likely he's lying. He is the star of IS's Shakespeare production, and this is where he got his first kiss. Some speculate that he hasn't gotten much action because of the rumor started by Vicki Quintana (how does she know?) about the size of his winky. Although Varun seems friendly, don't let your guard down lest he mock you mercilessly. He'll do one hell of an impersonation of you and make you think it's you making fun of yourself. Also, take a look at his foot. He has a crooked toe.
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Poorna Ramachandran
Major: BioSci... we think...
Hometown: San Jose, CA
Poorna Ramachandran. What a name, what a person. You probably already know her! This girl from San Jose
put the "JO" in Jose and is famous for doing it. She's working on establishing similar prestige in Davis
as of now (you can always find her on first street), all in fun of course. She's actually famous for a lot
of things! Famous for her unrelenting discipline in exercising regularly, famous for her Ryan and Brandon
fetishes, famous for her delicious cheesecake, famous for her "hella" quintessential Northern
Californian-ness, and who could forget, famous for her pure and pealing laughter. She also has some great
aspirations as a Biological Sciences major, looking into med school, becoming a doctor, all that good
stuff. Has a younger brother, relatives in that awesome country India, loves to dance, makes great
websites, appreciates good food, plays her cards right...but sometimes, sometimes you have to wonder WHAT
gets into that woman. There's no particular story, or trait to describe really. It's more of a periodic
"Bulabaloooooo" to use her terms. She just wacks out from time to time, and in a way particular to Poorna
and only Poorna. We observe, but what conclusions we should draw is always the question left unanswered.
Sometimes we witness a woman high on life: bulging eyes and maniacal laughter are expected. At other times
the woman is frazzled, frizzled, and ferocious with a Frappuccino in one hand and the flesh, ahem, no,
collar, yeah, of the person nearest to her in the other. DON'T MESS WITH THIS WOMAN. She is a strong one.
And proud of it too. "I like to smack people around!" or "I'm a dominatrix, BABY!" are common phrases you
will hear her exclaim excitedly...appropriate to the respective situation (hint: Mort). But hey, let's not
call it pride, cuz it's more noteworthy than that. It's charisma, it's spirit, it's the effects of
haagen-daaz bars at ungodly hours, it's POORNA and she's just FUN and FUNNY! So meet her if you can
someday, if not to be an apprentice of her most valued "JO" teachings, then to just meet a wacky goil
with DAMN RIGHT written all over her and a snazzy attitude that may rub off on you!
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Lindsey Ann Riemenschneider
Nicknames: Lindz, Lindsers
Major: Civil Engineering
Hometown: Ukiah, CA (where they have only one kind of DSL service)
Meet Lindsey Riemenschneider, who comes to us from the Northern CA county of mENDOcino. When she grows up,
Lindsey wants to work with sewage, and is getting experience with that right now, as she is a
"Research Assistant" at Davis's wastewater treatment plant. In addition to this, you can often see
Lindsey kicking ass out on the field with the rest of the Pleiades, the Davis Ultimate Frisbee team.
Lindsey is usually very friendly, but if you happen to see her in the DC with her newspaper in the morning,
DO NOT attempt to sit with her. She is trying to enjoy a moment of peace and quiet, and will become annoyed
with you. Some of Lindsey's favorite things are Dave Matthew's Band, NCAA basketball, ping-pong, a variety of TV
shows such as Will and Grace, and she loves to read the comics, but she hates the Quigmans. Furthermore,
she is obsessive about brushing her teeth and creates lies about her friend's hygienic habits in order to
justify her own.
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Alice Marie Hampton Henton
Nicknames: Alex, Iceangel, she of the biting wit and scathing sarcasm
Major: English
Hometown: Quincy, CA
In September 2001, Alice left her small town life in Quincy to venture out into the big wide world, aka
Davis. You will probably never meet anyone as wittily sarcastic as Alice, who loves to zing one liners,
especially at those who don't have the mental capacity to fight back (VP). A few of Alice's favorite
things are bread, Shakespeare, Steve from Dell, Matchbox 20 (because their songs are often very applicable
to her life), good movies such as Labyrinth and Help, and slamming back shots. One day Alice hopes to be,
in her own words, "rich," a goal which she will undoubtedly achieve by stepping on the little people (VP).
Alice is the perfect woman: beautiful, funny, and smart, and if you should be so lucky as to spend the day
with her, do not offer her cottage cheese, as she does not care for it under most circumstances.
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Mara Noelle Gouveia
Nicknames: Bitter, Tomarra, Punk, Lazy Bum, Kid, Tact, Mar-Dawg (no really, Mar-Dawg, she signs stuff this way)
Major: Animal Sciences
Hometown: Roseville, CA
Mara is a shy and retiring young lady possessed of boundless tact and endless patience, along with an open
mind and sweet nature. Not the type of person who would, say, lock her roommate out MULTIPLE times for NO
GOOD REASON or carry on an intimate relationship with her pillow, affectionately named (that's right folks,
she named the pillow) Noah. Don't think the harem stops there- I'd also like to point out that she cheats on
her pillow with Ken the teddy bear, Stefan the tiger (and not, mind you, her tiger) and of course, the one
and only Jesus Christ. So far, Mara remains safe from any actual guys, unless you count the somewhat
unfortunate Kelly, whose heart she frapped earlier this year. In her spare time, Mara enjoys Bible study,
track meets and obsessing about the Kings, when not devotedly harassing her friends over AIM or ICQ. Unlike
roommate(s) that shall remain nameless (Lauren, Alice) Mara has been known to actually go to class, where
she and the loyal crossword routinely ignore lectures.
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Lauren Alexandra Geary
Nicknames: Laur
Major: Biological Sciences
Hometown: Florin (Sacramento), CA
A psychotic shopper with a truly serious addiction to frappuccinos, everything pink, and impractical shoes,
her life revolves around her slavish devotion to the diminutive Tom Cruise, whose shrine can be viewed at
almost any hour (she's never asleep at night) in the common area of room 316. Gifted with an uncanny gift for
the obvious and a predilection for anime and really expensive toys, most which wind up on Mara's credit card.
Many afternoons have seen our less than punctual friend scrambling for a class at least half over, coffee in
hand, narrowly (and not always) missing pedestrians while biking. Currently taking tae kwan do so she can
exist as even more of a hazard, especially to those who mock her (VP and a few others...) Lauren has no hopes
to someday master the intricacies of sarcasm.
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Jane Van Susteren
Major: dunno
Hometown: Mt. Shasta, CA
Jane was born to Midwestern parents, of whom not just one but both work for the Forest Service.
Owing to her father's knowledge of geology and this Midwestern background, she can name innumerable
rocks and soils and occasionally affect a somewhat convincing Wisconsin accent. She grew up in Mt. Shasta,
CA, a small tourist town in the unimposing shadow of a large (14,162 ft.!) volcano, famous as a mecca for
skiers, climbers, and new agers. She spent much of her time growing up reading, looking at plants, and
playing role-playing games with friends. An avid conversationalist, she can talk educatedly about many
subjects, from current politics, to European history, to the mating habits of aquatic mammals. She has
devised numerous plans for conquering the world, at least one of them involving Latin America and rogue
genetic engineering of crops, another involving very large walls off of the coast of Florida. She can be
seen at farmer's markets.
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Cara Walter
Major: dunno
Hometown: Fremont, CA
Cara Walter is one of those individuals with whom everyone is acquainted, but few people actually know.
Spending the majority of her time locked in her room or at the rec hall, Cara has one of the best work ethics
in the building. Calm, cool and collected, this girl may be holding an ordinary conversation, when out of
nowhere, she says something truly different (and usually dirty), letting her real colors show. Dressed in her
wardrobe consisting of flannel, theater shirts and leather Renaissance bodices, Cara arrived on the scene
with her head recently buzzed. Nicknamed Hobbling after her two month use on crutches, Cara is our favorite
handicrapped (yes, handicrapped) person. Her unobtrusive personality is a refreshing change in the sea of
hormones that is the dorm.
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Rebecca Rosenberg
Major: dunno
Hometown: Long Beach, CA
This lover of horse and man, Mr. Yummy-man and Biff the burning hunk of
man-love to be specific, is known to many as just Becca. Whether you're
coming to her in dire need of an explanation of chemistry (she is the well
known building chemistry goddess after all), or you're stepping over her as
she is laying collapsed in the stairwell or hallway, she is always a welcome
sight. Although she regularly responds to calls of "Bitch," Becca has a
heart of gold beneath that rugged exterior. Becca is not quite the purple
queen that Chrisoula is, but she comes close with her purple microwave,
purple saddle blanket, purple bathrobe, well you get the idea. Becca
surpasses us all in her ability to sleep through anything, including the
writing of her bio. This near narcolepsy is probably due to the many late
nights she keeps; sometimes for really no good reason at all. So, if you
walk into B Building and hear animal noises, most notably a very believable
goat, you'll know that our beloved Becca is there.
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Erin Lindsay Murata
Major: Psychology with an emphasis in Biology
Hometown: Albuquerque, NM
Nicknames: Bear, Nire, Tall Erin, "poo poo", HEY!!
Favorite Color: Blue
Interesting Facts: She hates beans!
Erin is an Aries with a passion for horseback riding. She enjoys learning about blood and guts, and has a
knack for saying disgusting things while people are eating. You can often find Erin tripping up or down the
stairs at least once a day. Erin is an awesome friend!! Funny story: Erin, Alissa and I (Vicki) were
looking up music videos on the internet and we ACCIDENTALLY got a particularly gross porn video in which a
man was...ah hem, ejaculating on a girl's face. This is the conversation that followed.
Erin: I didn't know, I thought someone was feeding her an ice cream cone. ... and later ...
Erin: I thought it was chocolate. ... and after i put it in my profile ...
Erin: Oh great, now people are gonna think I've never seen a penis before. ...silence...
Alissa: Have you?
Erin: YES!!!
This Bio was brought to you by VICKI QUINTANA!! yay!
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Ming Xu
Major: English and Studio Arts
Hometown: San Diego, CA and Guangzhou, China
In my Women's Self-Defense Class, there's this technique called "seize the testicles." If an aggressor grabs
you from behind, you use your hand to grab, twist, dig your nails in and YANK....like so [holds up balls in
her hands]. Seize the day, if not the balls.... I am short and currently lives in San Diego--that's all you
need to know.
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Nicholas Albert Williams
Major: Chemistry then BioChem now Genetics apparently
Nicknames: Nick, NickDub, NickDubNutz, DubNutz, DubNZ, Nicko, Dub, Niqo
Hometown: Oakland, CA
Nicholas "Fat" Albert Williams was born kicking, screaming, and just as miserable as he is today. He spends
most of his time pretending he's black, which he claims is valid because he spent four years in an inner city
jail - oh wait, that's just Oakland. My mistake. He lives his life by the motto: Dead girls don't say "no."
I try to ignore the smell. Nicko, or as I like to call him, Bitch, thinks he wants to be a genetics major,
but that's only because he thinks the TA is hot. (Ed: and we all know what he did with the last TA he thought was hot...)
This is also coincidentally how he came to believe that
TA stands for Tits and Ass. I try to tell him he isn't smart enough for chemistry, and that he should do
something more fitting for his "special characteristics," like Exercise Science. He likes to play Ultimate
Frisbee (FREE-REE), football (OOO-BALL), girls (BOYEEEES), and sandwiches (WARMIES). He has an affinity for
removing his pants in public, and exposing himself to little boys (YUM-YUMS). He has recently considered
making a run for the papacy. All around though, he's not a bad guy. Really he's not. I don't care how many
times he's offended and violated you. He's a good person. The most honest and moral one I know. I swear.
Really. You can trust me. I live with him. Can you take your penis away from my ass now please Nick?
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David Nathanial Woolf
Major: Optical Engineering... GEEK
Hometown: Suburbia outside San Diego....Encinitas or something, I think
Nicknames: Davey Dave, Gumpy the Wonder Wolf, Superfly, Hey Shitface, DVDA
David was born one sultry day outside of San Diego, California to his Mom and his Dad. Mom was a prostitute,
Dad was a drunk....long story short, he grew up and came to Davis. The first thing that most people notice
about David is his perplexing smell. But once you get to know him better, you'll find yourself much more
intrigued by his third nipple. He's kind of hard to describe, so for now, we'll just go with "goofy" or
"dorkafin" perhaps, that fits pretty well. As his "friend" Kat puts it, "He's like Forrest Gump and Dracula
at the same time." He's currently majoring in optical engineering, but seen as no one really knows what it
is (maybe a code word for physics?), my guess is that he'll switch majors *cough supernerd cough*. David is
very much ass-driven, and his driving force is pretty gender/species unspecific; as long as there's ass to be
had, Dave's all up in that shit (pun very much intended). He also likes making jokes about how he is a
homosexual, which, coincidentally, he is not (although I'm still doubtful). At the beginning of the year
there were claims that he came in as a pure and kind person until his roommate corrupted him into a depraved
pervert, but it seems clear now that he in fact came in dirty and just coincidentally got paired with someone
of equal state of mind. Davey has a penchant for coke (the illegal kind) and will often be found loping
around campus at ungodly hours looking for animals to "mate" with. He prefers rabbits and ducks because,
as he so eloquently puts it, "They fit my penis better and try to squirm away more." Of course, if he can't
find a small animal, he'll always settle for his sister because, "She looks almost as old as I am." He's a
real fighter, learning to persevere despite being challenged with both gonhorrea and fetal alcohol syndrome.
He also owns a sweater vest that he wears on a consistent basis. In the future, he hopes to become the first
man to be on both the receiving and giving end of a Donkey Punch with different people within the same
hour. Atta boy Davey, aim for the stars.
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Kathleen Marie Troy
Major: Mechanical Engineering... then Exercise Science...
Hometown: Richmond, CA
Nicknames: Kat, Gata, Bitch, insert-your-jokingly-derogatory-word-here
Kat is from Richmond. She thinks that makes her cool. She also is under the impression that she is not
white...which is...odd. Kat's a lifeguard like Kim!!!! They're kick-ass swimmers planning to swim the
English Channel in a few hundred years. A poem about Kat:
K is for cool spelled with a "c", not "kool", because Kat is really smart and can spell (and everyone
knows "C" is the best letter anyway). She is also insane enough to like math. She's going to be a doctor...
I mean engineer...no, wait, a doctor, no wait..okay shit, she has no idea. She's also just cool because she
finds stuff to do in Davis (well, attempts at least), and she is Lucetta in "The Two Gentlemen of Verona".
Oh! "K" is also for crap spelled with a "C" because she takes and gives a lot of crap to everyone in the
dorm, and makes the world a MUCH more sexually open and scary and interesting place.
A is for attractive. Kat is another integral part of the Davis Brothel (room 116 baby!), and she is
in fact its founder and marketing chairperson (by that I mean she put the sign on the door). Kat has
voluptuous reddish curls and has come in the top five among "hot girl" polls by almost every guy in the dorm.
(Yeah, I don't get it either, but whatever). She is attractive on the inside too!! In her spare time, Kat
enjoys playing with her breasts and her tummy, burping, hiccupping uncontrollably, and taking over Crissy's
couch. "A" is also for Andy because that's Kat's brother who tried to burn down B Building back in his day.
T is for really really tall because Kat is 5 feet 5 inches!!! Um....okay fine. It's also for....
team! Go Pleiades! Go Kat!! Run run layout meow meow hiccup...that's Kat playing frisbee. We heart Kat!!!!!
Love Crissy
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Vicki Quintana
Major: Don't know
Hometown: Compton (a.k.a. East Castro Valley, CA)
Nicknames: "Hurricane" ("I don't really pay attention to what people call me")
Vicki has a knack for telling stories; she has a story for just about everything. Though she has trouble
recalling which classes she has on what days, Vicki has a talent for quoting any movie or TV show she's ever
seen (or anything funny you've ever said). She is the current "ghetto authority" for B Building; she prides
herself in her knowledge of thug life and won't hesitate to bust out with a rap at your request. In the way
of entertainment, Vicki enjoys the TV shows Friends and Alias and adores the movie The Whole Nine Yards.
She can kick your bootie in soccer or softball (or just about any sport she tries) and can pole vault like no
one you've ever seen before. Vicki has the greatest sense of humor and a contagious laugh, and she genuinely
is a wonderful friend and pleasant person. And besides that, she loves her family very much. And as a
friendly reminder to those of us who were there that day after seminar: let's not forget the time Vicki
wowed us with her infamous "tree branch incident."
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Scott Sennello
Major: Atmospheric Science
Hometown: Petaluma, CA
Nicknames: None (to his face at least)
Favorite health-nut food: Bagels
Favorite suicide food: Doughnuts (they look like bagels)
Favorite instrument: Bagpipes
Time required to solve HW regarding angular momentum and bike wheels: 2 minutes
Time required to change a flat bike tire: 2 hours
Time required to run a mile: 4 minutes, 50 seconds (personal record, high school track)
Time required to get in inner tube for IM inner tube water polo: About the same
Chances are you'll hear Scott before you see him: he is blessed (and everyone else cursed) with one of the
loudest voices in B Building, second only to Varun. However, while Varun is fluent in five languages, Scott
only speaks substandard English with poor enunciation. He developed his lungs as a runner in high school,
and nowadays (dis)graces IS with his presence at pickup football and Ultimate Frisbee games. He's earned a
reputation as a "small man who runs like a big man" because he has the acceleration, top speed and turning
ability of a locomotive. He also curves his Frisbee forehand throws more without trying than most people can
with trying, and on his first attempt at billiards, made the cue ball jump in ways that made experienced
players gaze in awe. He never played pool again, but still foolishly thinks he can stick with Ultimate.
But hey---you should see him try to be a young man in love (his character's even named Valentine) for a
Shakespeare play! It's hilarious! Don't worry; he won't be singing.
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Kari Schumacher
Major: dunno
Hometown: LA area...
Nicknames: none
Kari is a sweet-natured girl with a love of horseback riding and all things Native American. Although her
effervescent character is sometimes thought only possible by drug induced means, her never ending supply of
good cheer is always welcome in times of stress and hormone upheavals. A lover of U2 (Did I say lover? I
meant crazed fanatic.), Kari fancies herself the long lost fifth member of the band, and rarely a day goes
by when U2 music cannot be heard issuing forth from her room. Kari grew up in the hustle and bustle of
SoCal, but her Kansas roots cannot be hidden. Having earned the nickname of Jethra, which is so proudly
labeling her door, Kari demonstrates that a hick can arise anywhere. Deeply religious and with impeccable
hygiene, Kari sets the example for how every 19 year old girl should be.
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Michael Siegenthaler
Major: Electrical Engineering
Hometown: Santa Rosa, CA
Nicknames: None, not Mike (don't tell him, but he has been called Sigi behind his back)
Room Number: 319
IQ: About the same.
Michael is living, breathing proof that America's youth is not going to hell. He is the most responsible,
most trustworthy member of B Building, bar none: not surprising, considering he's an Eagle Scout. There's
not a soul in IS who isn't grateful for his help with computers: troubleshooting on geckomail, getting rid
of viruses, answering questions for programming homework, making this website possible, the list goes on.
His knowledge of everything about computers---actually, about everything from the Swiss government to classical
music --- is impressive. But more importantly, his selfless willingness to help anyone with anything at any
time (almost --- don't look for him during class; he actually goes to lecture, you slacker) is very humbling
for us mere mortals. Everybody knows about his computer skills and that he spent the last two summers
interning for Agilent Technologies, but not many people know this: while in high school, Michael organized
and supervised the building of a fence in Santa Rosa for his Eagle Project. He was a member of Montgomery
High's Academic Decathlon team. And he is good at playing piano---no, I mean really good, where you walk in
and can't believe you didn't know he played. You're a good man, Michael S.
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